Planning a Self-Care Inspired Birthday: Adding Mindfulness and Memories

Celebrate your birthday with a touch of mindfulness and a dash of self-care, as Host Otesha, shares the secrets to crafting a truly rejuvenating and reflective personal celebration. Say goodbye to the days of partying without purpose and hello to a meaningful experience that embraces your physical, mental, financial, and emotional well-being.
 On Faithfully Fulfill, we're not just talking about adding another year to your life but adding life to your years with activities that genuinely make your heart sing. Laugh with your girls, unwind, or indulge in scenes that serve you. It's all about creating a day that's as unique and special as you are, without the added pressure of meeting anyone's expectations but your own.

Meaningful celebration planning can be achieved when you have the right intentions. I share personal anecdotes, like my cherished "mommy and me spa day," and offer insights into the art of delegating and the power of saying 'yes' to help.

 We'll explore the essence of checking in with your intentions for celebrating and how to ensure your birthday bash isn't a band-aid for issues lying beneath the surface but a true reflection of your journey and growth.

 Join me for a heartfelt discussion on how to honor yourself and your loved ones with a self-care-inspired birthday bash that's as flexible and fulfilling as you've become.

Transcript

Self-Care Birthday Planning Conversation

Otesha 0:00

Hello and welcome to Faithfully Fulfill . I am Otesha , your host , and I am so glad you're here . And if you clicked on this episode , you are at least curious about a self-care birthday , and I am just excited to talk to you about it . So you probably can identify , you know , want to have a better or different way of caring for yourself and , based on you know what I know about putting together a birthday or celebrating a birthday if you make a big deal out of it and if you're a woman like me , the whole month is your birthday . So I know that . You know you could probably identify with that .

Otesha 0:48

However , there is just something different about this birthday , something different and you want to do something different and you just feel the need that this birthday is not like the former birthdays I had . And so why are we feeling like this ? Maybe because you know you could be exiting your party girl era , or you know nothing's wrong with your party girl era . Or maybe you've already exited and , like I said , there's nothing wrong with your party girl era , but after some years , our bedtime gets earlier and earlier , sis , as it seems . So you want something different to do and you want to celebrate your life in a way that's going to bring you more life actually , more energy , more reflection , more inspiration and more mindfulness , really . And another reason what could be that you know you're getting better with money or you're getting good with money . So those weekend trips and then taking a card here and taking a card there to sponsor , you know , these elaborate , elaborate trips in hotels and parties and vacations , is just not the wave in the season . You want to be responsible , yes , but you also want to be responsive to your physical , your mental , your financial and also your emotional needs of needing to create a new celebratory experience for yourself this birthday that you could be proud of . That's rejuvenating , so let's get into it . So one of the self care style recommendations that I recommend I recommend you start this process by self reflection . Yes , self reflection . I know you hear that all the time , but listen to me here , hang in there . So I want you to self reflect on activities that make you feel refreshed , relaxed , big or small . Three to five things . So let me give you some examples . Okay , let me get into your mood . Teacher hat on , listening ears off , listening ears on . There you go , all right . So three to five things . So here are some examples Do you like laughing with friends ?

Otesha 3:26

Do you like walking into a clean room or being in a clean room that you just organized with a candlelit with your favorite scent ? Think about that , visualize that atmosphere , especially if you identify with that thing that refreshes you , relaxes you . How about smells ? One of the smells for me that I love is lavender . I also like orange , like citrus , grapefruit . That kind of boosts my mood . It's energetic . It's energetic , it's fresh . Think about those things too .

Otesha 4:02

So when you're thinking about planning this self care , inspired birthday in this day for yourself , sis , think about that . Another thing , too , like that I enjoy and I think will probably help you as well Like when someone does something for you and you have a good conversation , for example , as this would be getting your hair done or getting a facial , getting a massage , getting your feet done Like when you have that conversation with the person that's doing your hair and nails . First of all , I will not go into a nail shop if they don't talk to me , right ? So y'all know what I'm talking about . I'm not even going to like throw the ethnicity and all that out there , because it's not about that . I'm really big on service . So if I don't get a good service , and you know the service is not good . I don't care how well you did my hair and nails , I'm not coming back , okay . Even if I do come back , it ain't going to be consistent , it's just because I was in a pinch , but yeah . So think about those things too . If you like being outdoors , if you like walking , think about incorporating those things in your self-care day . Another thing , too , is do you like making things , do you like creating things ? And then , you know , using it .

Otesha 5:33

So one of the experiences that I've had in the past that has really made a positive memory on me is attending a workshop with a group of friends , and I'm going to share more about it later , so hang in there . But in the past I have went to this workshop with a friend . It was around Mother's Day and then I mean this was years ago , right , and I got invited to this and I was like I really like gathering with women for a purpose , doing something with our hands , casual . It's pretty , you looking pretty , I'm looking pretty Like . I like this vibe , I like this environment . This is good . So when I got to thinking about my birthday , I was like I wonder if I could , you know , reproduce that experience my way , my style , for my community . So you know , that is just what I'm doing for my birthday , but again , I'm going to tell you about that later . Let's keep talking to you and helping you with your self care day , all right .

Otesha 6:44

So if you're a person that needs to gather right and what I mean by this , you need to gather . You need to gather with other people . So , going into this gathering and inviting experience and mindset , I need you to set realistic expectations for your emotions and the outcome , because we really have to understand that people are balancing their life as well . So when you have events and you have a date and you're telling people to come , and then people are dropping like flies at the last moment , that can be emotionally taxing , even though you know you say , girl , that's okay , I understand , but sometimes it's like man I really , you know , was looking forward to seeing so and so , or I always invite this person out and they never come through . So I want you to walk into this . If you are a gatherer of people , or even if you're not and for once you're stepping out , you're like , all right , I'm going to put this together and I want people to come and then you know it's crickets . So I want you to walk in there , you know , taking care of your emotions , taking care of the outcomes , and set realistic expectations and , at the end of the day , do not let that affect your day Because , remember , this is your self care , inspired birthday , your time , your month . This is for us , okay . So make sure you're walking into . You know that gathering , planning and fixing situation with your realistic expectations at the front of your mind .

Planning Meaningful Self-Care Celebrations

Otesha 8:27

Another thing to gather in people and setting up events and doing things that involve other people , you need to make sure that you are not stressing yourself out . So delegate the parts you're willing to delegate . If you are a person that likes things a certain way , I understand , but I know there is something that somebody else can do . If you don't want that person to be in charge of where you all stay , where the venue is , then you take care of that part . But maybe they could figure out what we're going to do for the day , what type of activities . Maybe you can say you know , I want to do XYZ and this is the stuff I don't want to do . This is the stuff I don't want to eat . Plan around that that might be useful . That way , you're not trying to use all this brainpower to have this self care style inspired day , but it ended up being stressful instead of actually taking care of yourself .

Otesha 9:29

Another thing to if I want you to check your intentions around , what you're trying to do and what I mean by that . So say , if you're trying to gather , you're trying to go on this trip because you're trying to get out of a funk , you feel like you need a new change in scenery , which is appropriate . But also be mindful that you're not putting yourself at financial risk . You're not putting yourself through stress or temporary fix . That's not going to be long term . Is it something deeper that you need self care for ? Do you need to reach out to a mental health professional If you have a therapist and you and your therapist is not vibing ? You need to figure out that part out and not try to plan this self care event and day and go off on a tangent to the point where you're planning something out of emotion or need . That is deeper than what you're trying to do .

Otesha 10:41

So I'm not a licensed mental health professional , so I do want to put that disclaimer in there , but I do know a little bit about mental health and therapy from life experiences and also being a successful mental health . I mean , no wait , I know a little bit about mental health because I have partake in , you know , a successful therapist experience and I've also had therapists that I didn't mesh well with . So I know a little bit about the things that I'm not a licensed mental health professional . So there , that is there . So do not also back to this , this outcome . Do not let others decisions affect the outcome of your self care day .

Otesha 11:30

As I mentioned , you know previously before , similar to that is that you're going to have to be flexible in your brainstorming and know that plans change . You don't want you to be stressed out . Okay , because this is your day , this is your time , this is your month , because it's our birthday all month , right . So another point I want to make to is I talk a lot about being proactive instead of reactive . So if you need a staycation , if you need to put time in , if you need to tell someone like this day , no , I can't do that , this in the other , it's better to reserve the time ahead of the time than having to make time under pressure or go back and say you know I can't do that event or I can't go there or I need this day off at the last minute , and then because then you're gonna feel guilty or maybe resentment or it may not be a good outcome for you because you pushed it off and didn't reserve that time , even though you don't know if you're gonna need it or not .

Otesha 12:43

And I've had birthdays where I've worked . I had birthdays where I was off . I had birthdays where I was at home . I've had a COVID birthday where the world shut down , like on my birthday . I thought I was going to church on Sunday for my birthday , but the Lord said no and I had my birthday in-house alone . So it's just better to reserve that time and then also be flexible . And I do wanna transfer , apparently say something from my heart too this time of year .

Otesha 13:22

My birthday is in March . Of course , this is when this episode will be uploaded , but you could be listening to this in any month . So my birthday is in March . And then my mother's heavenly birthday . This will be our second year out us being able to talk and see each other . So her birthday is six days after mine , so the 28th . So what I've made a commitment to just based on just the time of the month .

Otesha 13:56

So around this time I'll give you some background knowledge . Like my mom would be calling me every other day like , hey , we got a birthday every month . I need this , wasn't this ? I need my hair done . When you coming down here , what we doing , so I'm not necessarily getting those calls right . So even though those calls were a lot , sometimes an extra , but what I say , all that to say , is now I cooperate in around this time of the month is a mommy and me spa day , even though my mommy is not with me . But I will get a facial or a massage . I will make sure I tell my institution , like , girl , it's my birthday . So , like you know , do me right and it's okay to drop hints . So if you are inspired by that idea and you say I'm gonna go get a facial , I'm gonna go get my hair done , or something like that , let that person know .

Otesha 14:55

A lot of people can resonate with you know that type of celebration , like you know , celebrating a birthday is usually something that comes easier for most people not all , but easier for most people . So you will be surprised how you know service-based business and individuals are ready to serve you and to be kind to you and go that extra mile just because it's your day , your time . So another thing I incorporated too , since I make sure that I give my time myself , time to feel and grieve and go through emotions and pay attention to them . I also take the day off for my mother's birthday , and one of the reasons why I do that and I'm kind of chuckling a little bit because she knows like when she was alive , she knew that I was always busy , you know , taking care of business , getting things done , and you know I would talk to her about , like , certain things . You know , like I can't do this , I can't do that , but I could do this on this day , whatever . So she always say why are you always working ? Don't be letting them people work , you like that . And so in order to , like you know , to honor her on that day and , you know , prioritize my work-life balance , I decided , you know , I probably will not work on her birthday , at least you know this may be something I continue . This may be , you know , a ritual or a celebration for us , but it is something that I'm trying . But you have to find your own style and you can find little . You know moments and you know special celebrations and ways to honor yourself and the people that you care about .

Otesha 16:48

When you're planning your birthday and your self-care , you know inspired birthday and celebrations tailored to your needs that are refreshing , rejuvenating . They can even be comforting and healing for you . So think about those things when you are planning your self-care day . So let's recap . Yeah , let's recap the first point you know I wanted you to do . I wanted you to self-reflect on some activities that make you feel refreshed . Think of these things , big or small . Do not overthink this part . Okay , just pick a few things . All right , I know it's your birthday and you want it to be the big deal , but sometimes we just have to choose . So another thing I want you to think about is when you're gathering people , when you're putting together events , you need to delegate and you need to set realistic expectation and do not let anybody rain on your parade and be flexible with the outcomes and what's gonna happen .

Otesha 17:50

The third point is you know , check your intentions when you're celebrating . Are you celebrating to hide from something , to cover something up ? That's just a temporary fix , but you need something deeper and you need to prioritize your mental health with a professional in a different way , or it may even be physical . You need to go to the doctor , something's going on and you need to take care of that thing . All right , we only get noted , even though we don't like to talk about it , and you know , most of us look young , and if you're listening to this podcast and you're a woman of color , we know that black doesn't crack okay .

Otesha 18:30

So another point , too , is to reserve the time ahead of time , so you will not have to go back and make the time under pressure , under emotions , when it's critical . Think about the time that you're gonna need or don't need . You can always reserve the time and come back to it if you don't need it . And then , last but not least , think about ways you can honor yourself , honor your family , honor the things that are important to you , that can be meaningful and impactful , even when you are celebrating a birthday . That is sensitive to your spirit , sensitive to your life , and it may be hard to celebrate during those times .

Otesha 19:15

So I did want to share with you what the grand event gathering that I put together based on my needs , and it is going to be called the Sisterhood and Self-Care Sense event . So that event I talked about earlier in the episode was candle like candle making workshop for Mother's Day a couple of years ago with a friend at this beautiful shop , local Business , and since then now you can book a workshop and it's a small gathering and I like gatherings . I like big gatherings , but I like intimate gatherings because people actually talk and communicate a little bit better . So there's like non slots . So about non women can gather together ? I created a Facebook event .

Otesha 20:08

The business owner helped me to , or she put the link out so people could register and reserve their seat and that's all I had to do . It's easy . Somebody else is gonna be leading and facilitating it . It's at a decent time , it's gonna be at 1 pm , and then I chose that time and it's on a Saturday , so we got a weekend going on . It's in the middle of the day , it's not the first thing in the morning , because I know black women , women of color , we're gonna be on color people time . So I picked 1 pm . It's not too early , not too late in the day , so I chose that time and I chose this , this work , this candle walk shop , because you can make your own scent , you can name it .

Otesha 20:56

So just earlier I talked about , you know , creating something and being able to use it , and , you know , just Walking into a clean room with a candle lit is , you know , rewarding to me . So that's how I made those connections . And then also , I like girl chat . You know , I like taking it easy , I like being in pretty places and , you know , appreciating the beauty around me and the beautiful women around me and just building that community . And then , last but not least , another thing to that , another thing that I value that this event connects to , is that this business also is all natural and cruelty free . So all my natural girlies out there , so if I'm gonna be burning the candle , I don't want it to be , you know , no shade on . You know , if you , if you do the thing , but I at least wanted to be something that I want my family to breathe in their nostrils . We're not perfect , but you know , if I can get my hands on something cleaner and greener , like I'm gonna do that .

Otesha 22:03

So that is how you know you can plan your self-care style birthday . You don't have to do it the way I do it , but I want you to do it the best way you can do it for yourself and then know that your best is enough . I think you're tuning in to the scale care style birthday . You know Plan edition and I hope you plan the best birthday celebration for you and I want to hear about it . Okay , so you can leave a review , tell me about your . You know your birthday and Happy birthday . If it's not your birthday today , we all have one every year . So it's your day , it's your time and I thank you for tuning in . I will speak to you next time on faithfully fulfill .